There was once a very serious pigeon.
A scholar.
A philosopher.
A bird of culture.
One day he discovered a french fry on the sidewalk
and immediately declared it to be
The Sacred Fry of Destiny.
He carried it everywhere.
Guarded it with honor.
Gave public lectures about it.
Wrote tiny pigeon essays.
Other pigeons tried to steal it.
Squirrels plotted heists.
A raccoon attempted a midnight operation.
But the serious pigeon?
He protected The Sacred Fry with such dramatic flair
that the animals eventually agreed the fry was probably magic
and left him alone.
One morning, he woke up…
and the fry was gone.
He panicked.
Flapped.
Ran in circles.
Held a full-scale crisis meeting.
Turns out—it hadn’t been stolen.
He’d just slept on it.
Now it was a pancake fry.
And the pigeon, being a philosopher, simply nodded and said,
“Ah yes. Transformation.”
And carried on proudly.


